“Love and Be Loved…”

It is sad when people lose hope for themselves.

They only ask for what they need, only expect what is required for them but they never stop to make a wish list. Something they might want without it being necessary. Something that might give them a little more joy then what they think they are deserving of.  They stop expecting. From others, from themselves, from God. It is really quite a sad state of affairs. It is utter disrespect for our own selves when we think we need to be disrespected by others.

In order to make sense of the world, in order to define it, to make it more predictable, we ‘calculate’ every possibility and every opportunity for a convenient ending. I think we are taught how to hate our selves so well, we forget all that is good within us. All that may be wanted by some body. May be worth cherishing for. We critique, belittle and subject ourselves to the harshest of evaluations. All because we think we need to. All because we believe that, that is the only way to evolve. We think that it will help us grow up. Help us to be more mature. Be more practical. So we erect brick walls around us and we pretend to be strong against all the ‘hate’ in the world, while forgetting that we are the ones subjecting ourselves to the worst forms of tortures. We come up with ‘pre-conceived notions’ regarding people. We think we know what they may say or do for us. We assess ourselves under hypothetical situations and we second judge others through harboring ideas conceived from abstraction. In a friend’s words, “…And this is when we miss out on the genuinely nice people who may have the potential to become a very special part of our lives”.

I think we cause ourselves to hate us. We are attracted to people who are cruel to us. The ones that openly and bluntly tell us we’re not good enough for them are the ones we want to be with. Why do we do this to ourselves? Clearly, we are all better than that. Why should we stoop so low as to treat somebody like that and let us be treated like that by somebody? Are we so delusional about all the qualities that make us special that we think we need to be hated for them? Why should we make the responsibility of hating our selves become somebody else’s burden? And, more importantly, why should we hate ourselves at all. Why are we such thick heads that we do not understand that just because a good looking looser didn't have the good sense to treat us better, we are not deserving to be happy.

Despite all my notorious sadistic pessimism, I do think truly falling in love with someone would be a blessing. A love lost is better than eternally closing yourself to all forms of sensitivity. It would indeed be a blessing by God and such a blessing is deserved by all of mankind. Despite all the money and power in the world there are things that a man just cannot control. ‘Loving’ and ‘being loved’ are such notions that flow about and within us, perpetual and irrepressible.

We need it just as much as we need air to breathe.