Sonia! :-D

A virtual present for you my friend, your actual present awaits you. :-)

Read all the way to the end...without snoozing off..:-)

Life is easier led in movies than in actuality. In actuality, it is neither as magnanimous nor as benevolent.

However, apart from the passionate accusations of the thinker regarding the insufferable realities of life, it is both an equal part of love and hate. It has equal shades of black and white. A blend of loving relationships and some disillusioned affairs.  Sometimes, we feel contended and sometimes we fall short of our own expectations. We triumph and we fail. And we move in a circle, sometimes going forward and sometimes holding ourselves back. Eternally resisting. Eternally suffering. Eternally fighting against the impulse to burst out and bare our souls to the world.

So we play up a smile around the corners of the lips. We laugh through the tears and the disappointments and we become pompous and pretentious. And being pretentious is not bad, if it saves us from a craving madness that might swallow us whole if left unbridled.

Sometimes, more often than not, we find ourselves wondering…what if I had done some things differently. If you don’t find yourself asking this question right now then perhaps you might be in a happier place then most people. Yet, you may still wonder…the power you might have possessed to change so much.

It is our prerogative to change our pasts, want a kinder future and endure a better present then what we have. However, it is a privilege not afforded to us. So we are left bickering for our future and regretting on our past. So we desperately hold onto to keep our heads above the water. We hold onto the false comforts and unsure realizations that make us feel wanted.

We hold onto the trivial relationships in life. The insignificant incidents are projected onto the big screen and we hold on with all our might. A cup of coffee with a loving friend on a roof top, the flickering butt ends of two cigarettes slowly coming to a close, a small talk shedding our inhibitions and doubts with an acquaintance in the dark.

We hold onto the objects marking the turning points of our lives. Giant doll houses and faded jeans inside dusty trunks. Colorful remembrances of old friends and lovers. And we refuse to shake these emblems off from our memories because we think we might lose ourselves if we did. So we keep our boats closer to the edge and do our best to wade through the agonizing tempests.

Some survive better than others. At least they make a great show of it. So we think they are happier than us. Better off than us. More fortunate than us. And, despite being good friends, lovers and humans we squirm inside with desperation and destitution. Yet, we smile and offer our facilitation's and secretly work our way up where they are. Where everything is like it is in the ‘movies’.

Sonia, My dear, I produce this for it to be eternally saved in your memory like one of those trivial things in life kept inside us under lock and key to draw strength from whenever we feel as if we’re at the edge again. I wanted you to know that you know how to survive better than others. Better than me. You know how to be happy and you make it look so easy. So you will never be alone. You will always have somebody beside you. God Bless.